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| Grace.
God's grace has fallen like unexpected rain.
And I am soaking it in.
I have been in a crunch for money since two Sundays ago.
In these two weeks, I have never seen more evidences of God's grace and monetary provision in my life. Graduation money from people back home, a reimbursement for money borrowed, selling a fridge and bed frame...gave me enough money to purchase car insurance, buy some food, buy gas, get a b.c. driver's license, pay for parking...
And on top of that, I've had free meals...this past weekend, dinners last week, dinner today...the things that I have made have surprisingly lasted me a while.
The bonus, being able to go to Celebration, as a gift of grace.
All with $63 in my bank account. All until I get paid this Friday.
God is gracious. Faithful. Provider.
I am blown away.
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My memory astounds.
Even me.
An instant is all it takes
A flash
A face
A smell
A tune
A feeling
A slight chill in the night air
And I am back there
People say not to live in the past
Don’t look back.
That was yesterday.
But my yesterday is today
Right now in this moment.
Remember recall recollect
Again again again
“to gain” “to gain” “to gain”
Or is it
“away from” gaining?
To lose?
Your petals have fallen like teardrops to the floor
But I remember them
Don’t feel obligated to stand and cry with me
She says as her petals fall
One by one
Again again again
It’s ok
That was yesterday.
Memories hurt you as much as me.
But I still remember them.
Those faded experiences from your past
Bring those unsuspecting smiles that creep across your
face
You hide your smile with your hand
Not because you don’t want people to see
But because you remember
Again and again and again.
Yesterday is today.
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| three beautiful things:
the slow motion rings that form randomly (and yet in a purposeful pattern) after rain falls into a puddle.
the rain sliding off the green umbrellas at starbucks. they get so heavy and big and well up like tears.
sitting in a car for thirty seconds laughing with an older couple across from us who are laughing at us because we were sticking a calgary flames flag (manually) out our window in bc, home of the canucks.
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| it hit me on wednesday.
and yet, it's not hitting me.
not yet.
i never want to stop being a learner.
a student, maybe.
but not a learner.
silence is truth.*
silence is golden. sharp, golden teeth.
why are we so afraid of silence?
i worry.
there seems to be a great chasm between me and you.
and yet
i hear you whisper as your breath grazes the hairs on my ear.
i want to invest
when all around me
people are investing in people.
i am tired.
to hug and to hold
to kiss a total stranger
and run away as if nothing happened at all.
am i or am i not
do i or do i not
where what who when how
to wish for a better life
--perhaps a better soul--
defeats me
impart wisdom daily
give
and see those grateful eyes.
i love. too many things.
memories in music
smells take you back
i am right back to that day i met you
the hearts of people are raw
broken
but oh so beautiful.
drowning in pages of waves.
i think i'll nap
and forget it all
important sounding shoes
only tell me that
your shoes are important.
the laughter of a child
is the best sound
in the world.
pray
to give God
a string that you're holding on to.
balloons are more beautiful
when they are released.
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*quoted by G.L.
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| my life is changing.
my life has changed.
i'm
thinking differently
relating differently
loving differently
seeing differently
cooking differently
praying differently
teaching differently
living differently.
my heart has changed
to stir
ignite
and play
differently than before.
it's not what you remember.
nor is it what i remember.
change
is hard.
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